It’s 13:32 . Little Fleur is napping on my lap. Hubby is repainting a rusty flower pot stand. And my boys ? Hammering away…
And then pitter patter pitter patter I hear little crispin racing to the black toilet. Swishhhhhh water running and tap off and pitter patter into my room.
“Mama , this pearl is for you! I was hammering g very hard work..” “ because you are my queen”
It’s another rainy cool Sunday.
Half lying on the bed with little Fleur asleep in my arms. Her little hand fling in to hug my chest and my heart filled up with love.
Slowly but surely you grew in my arms. I don’t realise it till I look back in all the pictures I have taken over the past 2 months. Even though I stare into that cute little chubby face every single day, you secretly grew right under my nose. You snuggle into my arms, burrowing and making yourself comfortable, arms frayed, cute little button nose, your little eyes will growing Long eye lashes lightly closed, feet twitching you slept without a care in the world because you know I will keep you safe, mamma is here. Once in a while, you reward me with your sweet fleeting dream smile and chuckles. Sometimes you open you little eyes to peak at me. Sweet dreams little Fleur, my sweet baby darling girl.
What sends little pea and little crispin into rolls and rolls of uncontrollable laughter?
This.
They call it “ Chao ta bee” ( burnt bee). It’s really a piece of foam from little crispin’s Britax car seat. But somehow, it has the ability to send them into uncontrollable hysteria. A childhood filled with unexplainable laughter. What more can I ask?
Little Fleur , today we brought you to see your great grandmother , my own Grandmother, for the 1st time. She looked at you lovingly and tickled your cheeks. I told her your name in mandarin and she said in Hokkien “ Teng ah” ( sugar) because it sounds like sugar. She heard and she responded.
Great grandmother had wished you for me. It wasn’t easy for mama to have kids but Miracles happened. And for years we were happy with little crispin and little pea. But almost every time we visit great grandma she would, in her cheeky ways look me in The Eye and cheekily say “one more… add another daughter” – “ko xi ji ge, ge ji he Za boar Kia” I would reply but it’s impossible to choose ah Ma. “ buay Yao kin, ta por za boar pun a Sai” – never mind boy or girl also can
Last thursday she fell from her bed and hurt her head and legs. She looks extra frail and unfocused. But she could still correct my Hokkien. She wanted to give little Fleur a red packet but lament she has no money on her any more. I said she has already given the red packet. And dont worry she had lots of money /@@ in the bank – goon Hong” – “ goon hang la she said good Hong .. I laughed . Happy to be correct . Happy she could still understand me and correct me.
Last year for many times when We visit , She told me not to cry if anything is to happen to her . Be happy that she has gone with grandpa it is difficult just sitting day in and day out because they don’t allow her to cook anymore ( because she is also weaker) but her will is strong. And I wish you will all be like her so strong so resourceful.
She mentioned 7th uncle cane to visit. Did I hear wrong? 7th uncle passed away years ago. She stared into space. Maybe she is tired. She told me “ Ho la, ka gin Teng, wa Loh kirbzibben “ -!ok quick go home, it’s late, still need to cook. “ She used to be so proud that I handled the house without a helper. Cos she didn’t want one either after ah run left . But it’s impossible. She needs to be cared for. She called for ah tun. I told her ah tun already gone home to Indonesia. It’s ah bin now ( actually it’s auntie ah mi but she called her ah bin cos she is from Philippines)
We left. She fell asleep. This covid madness has stolen time from us. Keep well ah Ma. Stay well. It’s tough but I want you still here.
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